When my teachers tell my class to fall in line according to height, you'd expect me to be in front. I never was the smallest in class but I wasn't far behind the tiniest. I was always in front with my other short classmates. It wasn't really a problem for me. After all, the big kids at the back of the room were goons and hooligans. I belonged with the nerds.
I was rarely bullied. I was small and quiet. My classmates used to tell the story of being isolated at my desk drawing away. I never really talked to anyone but my best friend back then. She was the social butterfly. She gets teased ever so often and she usually cries. People tease me too but I fight back. I remembered back in the first grade that I wrestled a boy twice my size. I don't remember what made me so angry but I made that boy my bitch. When he tattled, he left me out. He must be ashamed that a girl beat his butt.
There are a lot of small successful people out there because they did what I did when I was in the first grade. The world looks bigger to us fun sized people but it shouldn't stop us from grabbing life by the balls and conquering it. When I was younger, a lot of people hated me and I've always attributed their hatred to my success. Now that I'm older, people love me because I'm not as successful as I hoped to be. I've become afraid of grabbing life by the balls because there are a lot of times that I did and that bitch bit back. I miss that feeling. I miss being such a bad ass. What good is being nice when I'm not happy?
I have decided to stop being too nice. I have formed deep relationships with people who in the end just let me down. It's wounding. It's better to know that people hate you than to realize that people only like you until you're finally starting to do better than them.
There are a lot of things wrong with my life right now but I'm going to start making them right again.
I was rarely bullied. I was small and quiet. My classmates used to tell the story of being isolated at my desk drawing away. I never really talked to anyone but my best friend back then. She was the social butterfly. She gets teased ever so often and she usually cries. People tease me too but I fight back. I remembered back in the first grade that I wrestled a boy twice my size. I don't remember what made me so angry but I made that boy my bitch. When he tattled, he left me out. He must be ashamed that a girl beat his butt.
There are a lot of small successful people out there because they did what I did when I was in the first grade. The world looks bigger to us fun sized people but it shouldn't stop us from grabbing life by the balls and conquering it. When I was younger, a lot of people hated me and I've always attributed their hatred to my success. Now that I'm older, people love me because I'm not as successful as I hoped to be. I've become afraid of grabbing life by the balls because there are a lot of times that I did and that bitch bit back. I miss that feeling. I miss being such a bad ass. What good is being nice when I'm not happy?
I have decided to stop being too nice. I have formed deep relationships with people who in the end just let me down. It's wounding. It's better to know that people hate you than to realize that people only like you until you're finally starting to do better than them.
There are a lot of things wrong with my life right now but I'm going to start making them right again.
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