I last cut my hair two years ago on a suprisingly sunny September morning. A lot has happened since then.
I remembered cutting my hair back then as a sign that I was ready to move forward. I had been with my boyfriend for two months at that time and I thought to myself that there might be something more to what we have. It was like I was starting over with him. My hair was beyond my shoulders and I had it cut to an ear length.
It was my way of signifying that I was ready to commit. I was ready for this new journey with another person -- a person I don't even know that much but by the looks of it, someone who would eventually turn my world upside down.
Shortly after cutting my hair, I decided to focus on losing weight. I weighed 120lbs and it may not seem that much to regular sized folk but for someone like me who barely grazed the five feet mark, I'm significantly overweight. I ate less but not necessarily better. I did eat less takeout though. After a year of dieting and incorporating some sort of exercise into my daily routine, I had lost 10 lbs. By that time, my hair was at shoulder length.
It was a year of ups and downs for my boyfriend and I. There were a lot of fights. We were just getting to know each other and it proved to be quite challenging for both of us. In a lot of ways, our personalities just didn't mesh. He was a perfectionist, in everything. I'm not as neurotic. I like things to be perfect but there are some things that I just don't give a crap about. I'm kind of messy. He's not. He tends to get his panties up in a wad most of the time. I'm more patient. He's impulsive and I may not be a detailed planner but I can't be without a plan. I like making plans but sooner or later, I realized that plans with him don't matter. I'll just end up disappointed.
Anyway, I was trying to grow my hair out then boredom hits me. I decided to color my hair. I wanted it purple. I was turning 24 and I thought to myself, 24 is still early 20s. You can still do crazy stuff in your early 20s. When I turn 25, all my friends will be getting married and getting their shit together and I don't want to look like the one dealing with a quarter life crisis. I promised myself that I'd go bananas. I won't think of consequences too much. I'd just go bat crap crazy. Alas, I couldn't find a purple dye in the department store so I dyed my hair pink.
Of course, it only stayed vibrant for a few weeks. After which, it turned red and my boyfriend was getting vertigo just by looking at my uneven hair. I decided to dye it a dark brown a week before I turned 24.
Because of the bleaching process, my hair wasn't in the best shape. I couldn't leave it hanging out because it would be just a tangled spider web of a mess. I had to modify my normal routine. Before I bleached it, I could get away with not combing because my hair was full of life. Now I have to style it so that the damage won't seem too obvious. I was determined to grow it out as I've always wanted long hair. I wanted to do a lot of things to it like braids, updos, and of course, I wanted to achieve the Victoria's Secret model look. That was the dream.
After a while, I felt like I fit a norm. I felt like I looked like everybody else. I didn't want that. I've always wanted to stand out. I wanted to be different. I was beginning to be classified as sexy and as flattering as that is, I never wanted to be that kind of person. I liked being fun and quirky. So I decided to attempt to color my hair purple again. This time, it wasn't just a spur of the moment decision. I took a few days to think about the color and to devise my plan. I didn't want it to be just purple, I wanted a pastel purple. For that to happen, I needed a plan -- a plan that wouldn't result in me crying in the bathroom with a handful of hair that has fallen out of my head.
I know I needed to lighten up to a 9 or 10 blonde to achieve the look. I also know if I attempt to do that by myself and at home, I will be bald the next day. So I processed my hair in batches. It took me four bleach processes (about 8 weeks) and a lot of coconut oil to get my hair to this shade of blonde.
Of course, the boyfriend wasn't too happy with it but I think deep inside he knows I'm just acting out. He was making bad decisions constantly and it took its toll on me. This was my passive aggressive way of getting back. Setting aside my reasons, I know I look damn good as an icy blonde.
I purchased a pastel colored purple from an online store that sells Manic Panic Dyes. I was very excited but it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to. And because it was a huge failure and big waste of money, I wasn't able to take a picture.
I searched again for a dye. I thought of trying out the darker shades of Manic Panic but I just didn't want to waste another 800 bucks for a dye that may or may not stick. So I scoured the internet for another dye or method that might work. Then I happened by this blog and she narrated how she colored her hair with food dye. I tried her method. Heck, I have nothing to lose. And lo, here is the result:
I loved the way it turned out. Finally, I had fun colored hair again. As fun as it was, the upkeep was terrible. I just can't do it regularly so after a month, I dyed my hair back to black.
I know right? I looked hella sexy with black hair. Of course, I didn't color it all black. I left a few strands at the bottom a lovely shade of purple.
Bleaching and dyeing my hair has made it very dry. Again, I just couldn't leave it without styling it in the morning. I had to straighten it or curl it just so it wouldn't look damaged. It took so much effort. Unlike before where I can leave it to air dry, I had to blow dry, curl/straighten it and that took more than an hour. I just couldn't spend my mornings like that.
Still, I kept my hair. My boyfriend wanted it long. I think every guy wants his girl's hair long. So I decided to just tolerate it. I can afford to spend a few more bucks on hair products to revive my hair.
Here came the problem. He broke a promise and it hurt me a lot. I tried to be okay with it and it was a struggle. We were constantly fighting. I even tried breaking up with him but he wouldn't let me. I also didn't want to leave but it was horrible. I felt I had no choice. I said I didn't feel like I was a partner in this relationship. I felt hurt that he was making all these bad decisions on his own without even consulting me. He said he was sorry. He said he knows it was his fault and from now on we're going to change things.
When he said we were starting over, that's when I made the decision to cut my hair.
These 12 inches of hair symbolized the two years we've been together. I haven't cut it since then. It went through a tough beating just like our relationship did. I didn't even think twice about it. It was a very impulsive decision. I googled "Anne Hathaway" and looked at her pictures and I thought her hairstyle would suit me. I rushed to the salon and told my stylist to just chop it all off. Here's the final look:
This is my starting over look. What do you think? Did you like my hairstory? Am I better off as a blonde or a brunette? Do I look better with long hair or my extreme pixie?
Share your thoughts in the comments section.
Forever small but wonderful,
Kanin D.
I remembered cutting my hair back then as a sign that I was ready to move forward. I had been with my boyfriend for two months at that time and I thought to myself that there might be something more to what we have. It was like I was starting over with him. My hair was beyond my shoulders and I had it cut to an ear length.
 |
| Taken October 2011 |
It was my way of signifying that I was ready to commit. I was ready for this new journey with another person -- a person I don't even know that much but by the looks of it, someone who would eventually turn my world upside down.
Shortly after cutting my hair, I decided to focus on losing weight. I weighed 120lbs and it may not seem that much to regular sized folk but for someone like me who barely grazed the five feet mark, I'm significantly overweight. I ate less but not necessarily better. I did eat less takeout though. After a year of dieting and incorporating some sort of exercise into my daily routine, I had lost 10 lbs. By that time, my hair was at shoulder length.
 |
| Taken September 12, 2012 |
It was a year of ups and downs for my boyfriend and I. There were a lot of fights. We were just getting to know each other and it proved to be quite challenging for both of us. In a lot of ways, our personalities just didn't mesh. He was a perfectionist, in everything. I'm not as neurotic. I like things to be perfect but there are some things that I just don't give a crap about. I'm kind of messy. He's not. He tends to get his panties up in a wad most of the time. I'm more patient. He's impulsive and I may not be a detailed planner but I can't be without a plan. I like making plans but sooner or later, I realized that plans with him don't matter. I'll just end up disappointed.
Anyway, I was trying to grow my hair out then boredom hits me. I decided to color my hair. I wanted it purple. I was turning 24 and I thought to myself, 24 is still early 20s. You can still do crazy stuff in your early 20s. When I turn 25, all my friends will be getting married and getting their shit together and I don't want to look like the one dealing with a quarter life crisis. I promised myself that I'd go bananas. I won't think of consequences too much. I'd just go bat crap crazy. Alas, I couldn't find a purple dye in the department store so I dyed my hair pink.
 |
| Taken February 2013. |
Of course, it only stayed vibrant for a few weeks. After which, it turned red and my boyfriend was getting vertigo just by looking at my uneven hair. I decided to dye it a dark brown a week before I turned 24.
Because of the bleaching process, my hair wasn't in the best shape. I couldn't leave it hanging out because it would be just a tangled spider web of a mess. I had to modify my normal routine. Before I bleached it, I could get away with not combing because my hair was full of life. Now I have to style it so that the damage won't seem too obvious. I was determined to grow it out as I've always wanted long hair. I wanted to do a lot of things to it like braids, updos, and of course, I wanted to achieve the Victoria's Secret model look. That was the dream.
 | ||
| Taken March 2013. (I think I was pretty successful with the VS look) |
I know I needed to lighten up to a 9 or 10 blonde to achieve the look. I also know if I attempt to do that by myself and at home, I will be bald the next day. So I processed my hair in batches. It took me four bleach processes (about 8 weeks) and a lot of coconut oil to get my hair to this shade of blonde.
 |
| It is true, blondes do have more fun. |
I purchased a pastel colored purple from an online store that sells Manic Panic Dyes. I was very excited but it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to. And because it was a huge failure and big waste of money, I wasn't able to take a picture.
I searched again for a dye. I thought of trying out the darker shades of Manic Panic but I just didn't want to waste another 800 bucks for a dye that may or may not stick. So I scoured the internet for another dye or method that might work. Then I happened by this blog and she narrated how she colored her hair with food dye. I tried her method. Heck, I have nothing to lose. And lo, here is the result:
 | ||
| This is a bright pink with a purple base |
I loved the way it turned out. Finally, I had fun colored hair again. As fun as it was, the upkeep was terrible. I just can't do it regularly so after a month, I dyed my hair back to black.
 |
| Back to my roots. |
I know right? I looked hella sexy with black hair. Of course, I didn't color it all black. I left a few strands at the bottom a lovely shade of purple.
Bleaching and dyeing my hair has made it very dry. Again, I just couldn't leave it without styling it in the morning. I had to straighten it or curl it just so it wouldn't look damaged. It took so much effort. Unlike before where I can leave it to air dry, I had to blow dry, curl/straighten it and that took more than an hour. I just couldn't spend my mornings like that.
Still, I kept my hair. My boyfriend wanted it long. I think every guy wants his girl's hair long. So I decided to just tolerate it. I can afford to spend a few more bucks on hair products to revive my hair.
Here came the problem. He broke a promise and it hurt me a lot. I tried to be okay with it and it was a struggle. We were constantly fighting. I even tried breaking up with him but he wouldn't let me. I also didn't want to leave but it was horrible. I felt I had no choice. I said I didn't feel like I was a partner in this relationship. I felt hurt that he was making all these bad decisions on his own without even consulting me. He said he was sorry. He said he knows it was his fault and from now on we're going to change things.
When he said we were starting over, that's when I made the decision to cut my hair.
 |
| 12 inches |
These 12 inches of hair symbolized the two years we've been together. I haven't cut it since then. It went through a tough beating just like our relationship did. I didn't even think twice about it. It was a very impulsive decision. I googled "Anne Hathaway" and looked at her pictures and I thought her hairstyle would suit me. I rushed to the salon and told my stylist to just chop it all off. Here's the final look:
This is my starting over look. What do you think? Did you like my hairstory? Am I better off as a blonde or a brunette? Do I look better with long hair or my extreme pixie?
Share your thoughts in the comments section.
Forever small but wonderful,
Kanin D.
No comments:
Post a Comment